by Chris Rhodes
August 15, 2018

Ever since the creation of the world his eternal power and divine nature, invisible though they are, have been seen through the things he has made.
(Romans 1:20)

The verses prior to the above scripture speak of those who suppress the truth. This scripture counters that the truth is made manifest, can’t be suppressed, so those who suppress it are “without excuse.”

In our first reading this morning, John Main wrote, “His absolute integrity can only be encountered by our own integrity”.

I thought about how in my interior life, I suppress the truth about who I am. I prefer to see myself as good, too good. And at the same time, I struggle not to beat myself up when I don’t measure up to some crazy standard I have in my head. It’s crazy because God did not ask nor expect whatever behavior I failed to do or achieve.

I’m sure I once judged another for not having achieved or behaved in that way, and now, boom. Here comes the measuring stick like a yoke on my head, not an easy burden and definitely not light. And God lets me walk around with said yoke, dragging it and being dragged down by it, until I He shows me in His light, what’s really up.

That’s when I discover His integrity. When I look for Him with that “broken and contrite spirit that he will not despise.” (Could that be integrity?) He won’t let me continue to romp around with the yokes of my own judgments weighing me down.

I serve a God (or at least try to) who is Lord of the Dance. (Not exactly scriptural, darn! but David loved God so very much he apparently danced like a fool yet God liked it.)

In my meditation today, I could barely hear my mantra at one point because the tango music was playing so loudly in my head! Oh dear, how far away I am from silence!

And then I was reminded of something my tango teacher said as I tried to quiet myself during meditation while the tango music kept playing, playing. She spoke of the role of the follower. She showed us how the follower must wait for the leader, patiently wait for his body to move forward before taking a step back. Lean Into the leader as he/she steps forward, don’t recoil. Only then is there harmony of motion.

How much muscle it takes to lean in and wait! How much centeredness in oneself it takes to devote to the “other.” But together…together moving in harmony, what a high! Finally the mantra took me to a place where the tango music stopped blaring.

As folk shared in our morning group, I wondered about the scripture, because what is made is a reflection of the invisible and eternal and divine. I looked up divine’s definition and it said, having to do with Deity. Well. Diety is a leader. It also said that divine is supremely good.

Then, during our discussion, the only thought I had, and it wasn’t even a thought, just an awareness, was the surrendering to the supreme good/Diety, and waiting to feel the movement carry me, as in the dance. This awareness needs silence. And so I was silent.

Photo by Martin Noren, distributed by Flickr and made available through Creative Commons.